Singapore Orchids Named After Dictators Demand Full Diplomatic Immunity

The National Orchid Garden has officially declared its VIP section a sovereign state after several hybrids began demanding parliamentary seating.

Management confirmed that flowers named after world leaders have developed sentient egos and now require personal security to prevent "unauthorised peasant touching."

The Dendrobium ‘Vladimir Putin’ reportedly attempted to annex the neighbouring Ginger Garden yesterday, citing historical botanical ties and a lack of local resistance.

Taxpayers are increasingly furious that these high-maintenance stalks enjoy 24/7 air-conditioning while the rest of the island sweats like a tray of abandoned satay.

"Wah piang, these flowers more high-SES than me, stay in luxury fridge and don't need work," grumbled local retiree Uncle Lim.

"I accidentally sneeze on the 'Margaret Thatcher' orchid and the plant straight away try to privatise my Grab vouchers, sibeh jialat man."

NParks has warned that any orchid named after a disgraced politician will be promptly relocated to the compost heap to accurately reflect their political legacy.