Singapore NS Unit Mistakes Tone-Deaf Karaoke For Chemical Weapon Attack

MINDEF has successfully weaponised clinical depression by hosting another mandatory "Social Night" for disgruntled National Servicemen.

The evening featured a lukewarm buffet of mystery meat and a karaoke machine that only plays MIDI versions of NDP songs from 1998.

"Walao eh, the Sergeant's 'Home' rendition so high-pitch until my ear bleed, I rather go guard duty," remarked one traumatised Recruit.

As the stench of stale air-con and desperation filled the mess hall, the Commanding Officer reportedly mistook the sound of a tone-deaf Corporal for a biological hazard alarm.

Medical officers confirmed that three men required immediate evacuation after being exposed to a triple-encore of "My Way" by a drunk Warrant Officer.

"Siao liao, he think he Jacky Cheung but sound like dying cat," sobbed a witness.

The SAF is now studying the event as a potential interrogation technique.