Singapore NS Introduces ‘Medium-Rare’ Training Setting For Heat-Resistant Recruits

The Ministry of Defence has unveiled a revolutionary initiative to bypass traditional training and skip straight to spontaneous human combustion.

Recruits are now encouraged to achieve a crisp, mahogany glaze that rivals a roasted duck at Maxwell Food Centre.

Safety Officers have been issued industrial-grade spatulas to flip any Private who has spent too long sizzling face-down on the parade square.

"Eh, why you so weak? Last time we don't even have water parade, we just drink our own sweat and carry on, now you want to fall down because of one small sun?" remarked 1st Sergeant Tan, while poking a steaming recruit with a stick.

The new "Black Flag" protocol dictates that if a soldier’s internal organs begin to sous-vide, they are officially considered "combat-ready."

"Safety first lah, but if you never kena heat injury, you really served NS or not?" added a medic while pouring lukewarm Gatorade into a man’s ear.