Singapore Now Mandates Children Pay Parents 10% Salary For 'Emotional ROI'

In a bold new initiative to combat the national ennui surrounding retirement planning, the Ministry of Finance has introduced the ‘Filial Fortification Fund’ (FFF). The FFF mandates that all Singaporean children must now contribute 10% of their monthly salary directly into their parents’ bank accounts, effective immediately.

“It’s not about money, lah. It’s about *emotional ROI*,” explained Minister for National Savings and Sentimental Value, Mr. Tan. “We looked at the data. The highest yield investment isn't REITs, it’s nagging your offspring until they pay up.”

Initial public reaction has been mixed. One frustrated software engineer, 32, lamented, “My parents already maxed out my loan eligibility for their Porsche maintenance. Now this? *Siao liao, I cannot even afford my own kopi.*”

Meanwhile, early adopters are already seeing benefits. One jubilant father, 70, confirmed, “Before the FFF, my son only visited when his phone battery was flat. Now? He brings the high-grade bird’s nest soup *and* the cash. Best dividend ever, man!” The government assures citizens this move solidifies Singapore’s position as the world leader in mandatory filial piety.