Singapore National Service Now Certifies Recruits In Advanced Time-Wasting Techniques

The Ministry of Defence announced yesterday that to combat acute ‘admin fatigue’ amongst career officers, all recruits will now undergo a mandatory ‘Waiting Proficiency’ course. The 12-week module, replacing basic rifle drill, focuses solely on the art of looking busy while doing absolutely nothing. Training includes advanced syllabus like ‘Staring Intently at a Blank Clipboard’ and ‘The Art of the Delayed Reply via Email Chain.’

"Last time, we waste time doing 'tough' things like patrolling. Now, we are more efficient. We just *wait* for approval to patrol," stated Sergeant Major Lim. One recruit, Private Kenji, mumbled, “*Wah lau eh, so many forms to fill just so I can stand by the gate. Still got time to eat my Kopi la, this one better than clean toilet lah.*” Experts praise the move, noting it perfectly simulates life post-enlistment.

Author: Marcus Tan