Singapore MOE Adds ‘AL-Infinity’ To Score Most Disappointing Children

The Ministry of Education has unveiled its latest PSLE scoring tier, "AL-Infinity," to finally identify Singapore’s most biologically redundant children.

This revolutionary update ensures that any student scoring above an Achievement Level 4 is immediately processed into high-quality fish balls for the civil service.

"My boy get AL8, now he become fish cake for Parliament canteen, at least he contributing lor," said one remarkably stoic mother.

Officials confirmed that the stress-induced baldness of twelve-year-olds is now a key performance indicator for "Global Competitiveness."

"Wah lau, the exam so hard, my daughter start talking to ghosts to get the answers, damn power sia!" bragged another parent.

MOE insists that if a child hasn't experienced a minor stroke by the Science paper, the system is clearly too lenient.

The primary goal remains ensuring that every child is a winner, provided they win at everything, forever.