Singapore MCST Authorises Lethal Force Against Residents Who Don’t Shower

Management Corporations across Singapore have officially declared war on the oily film of human filth currently masquerading as "luxury" condominium pool water.

New guidelines at The Atas Residences now require residents to undergo a 20-minute industrial-grade chemical scrub before their toes may touch the chlorinated abyss.

"Wah lau, I just want to dip my legs only, the security uncle already start shouting like I carry plague," complained resident Tan Ah Kow.

Violators found entering the water with dry hair or traces of cheap sunscreen will be met with immediate tasering and a lifetime ban from the BBQ pit.

"If you never shower, you are basically committing bio-terrorism lah, wait the water turn green then you know," remarked the MCST Chairman while polishing his surveillance drone.

After all, nothing says "high-class living" like a pool that smells more like a sterile hospital ward than a holiday destination.