Singapore Man Trapped Inside $12 Taobao Wardrobe For Three Days

A Toa Payoh man is currently contemplating his life choices after his "Solid Oak" Taobao wardrobe collapsed into a pile of balsa wood splinters.

Marcus Tan, 29, thought he was a financial genius for bypassing IKEA to save forty dollars on a DIY walk-in closet.

The assembly process reportedly turned violent when a stray hex key pierced Marcus’s pride and his left palm.

Neighbors reported hearing screams of "Walao eh, why the screw so short one?" echoing through the corridor for six hours.

"I follow the Chinese manual leh, but end up the door becomes a floor," Marcus sobbed while nursing a concussion from a falling shelf.

HDB has now issued a warning that Taobao furniture poses a greater structural threat to blocks than actual earthquakes.

Marcus remains optimistic, having just ordered a $3 surgical kit from Shopee to stitch his own wounds.