Singapore Man Achieves Godhood After 50th Plate Of Salmon Sashimi

Singaporeans have officially evolved the hotel buffet into a high-stakes blood sport, replacing military drills with the "Seafood On Ice" massacre.

The sacred ritual requires starving oneself for forty-eight hours to ensure the $150 entry fee results in a total financial collapse for the hotel.

One local glutton was recently spotted body-slamming a toddler to secure the final claw of lukewarm, desalinised chili crab.

"Eh, I pay so much, must eat until I cannot breathe then worth it mah!" gasped the man, while stuffing four durian puffs into his cargo shorts.

Medical professionals suggest the national pastime is essentially "suicide by sodium," performed in the presence of a live harpist.

One diner was seen using a communal ladle to drink laksa gravy directly from the vat to "optimise stomach real estate."

"Walau, the lobster so skinny, I take thirty also cannot cover my ERP charges," complained a witness experiencing stage-four gout.