Singapore Interest Rates Now Form Part Of National Fitness Regime

In a stunning development that has shocked absolutely no one who owns a HDB loan, Singapore’s Monetary Authority (MAS) has announced its latest measure to combat inflation: simply telling everyone to stop spending money. Analysts hailed the move as "unconventionally direct."

“Sian ah, I just bought a condo, now interest rate going up again? My neighbour ask me, ‘Eh, you sure you got enough money to service the loan, or just bluffing only?’ I tell him, ‘Steady la, I just sell my kidney for the downpayment, this last bit I can manage lah,’” lamented Mr. Tan, wiping sweat from his brow.

Experts suggest that continued hikes are merely a method to ensure Singaporeans maintain peak financial stress, thereby maximising the nation's collective investment in 'worry stocks'. A MAS spokesperson, speaking strictly off the record, confirmed the strategy: “If you cannot afford the mortgage, you clearly weren't ambitious enough. Try harder next cycle, or emigrate lah.”