Singapore HDB Solar Panels Now Efficient Enough To Fry Pedestrians

The Housing Development Board has unveiled its latest "Green Heartlands" initiative by cladding every HDB block in high-intensity solar mirrors.

Ministry officials claim the project will generate enough renewable energy to power a single LED lightbulb in Jurong West by 2050.

However, the concentrated glare has already incinerated three stray cats and turned Yishun into a literal magnifying glass experiment.

Residents are encouraged to wear industrial welding masks while hanging laundry to avoid permanent retinal scarring and spontaneous combustion.

Local resident Mdm Tan expressed her delight at the tactical advantage of the new installations.

"Wah lau, now no need to turn on stove, I just put my wok on the corridor railing and the sun fry my kway teow instantly, damn shiok sia!"

The government responded to safety concerns by suggesting that citizens simply "blink more frequently" to offset the blinding 4,000-degree reflections.