Singapore Hawker Upgrades Now Require Patrons To Perform Squats For Chicken Rice

Singapore’s Ministry of Food Scarcity (MFS) unveiled the latest Hawker Centre Upgrade, promising patrons an “unparalleled dining experience” by replacing all traditional plastic chairs with ergonomic, sustainably sourced bamboo stools that require a minimum 30-degree core engagement to sit upon. Officials claim the mandatory micro-workout will boost metabolism, citing a study funded entirely by the nation’s largest isotonic drink manufacturer. “Wah, I cannot tahan already, this stool confirm make my back pain worse than waiting for the Michelin Bib order,” lamented local patron, Uncle Tan. Critics argue the 'upgrades' solely exist to justify the 20-cent rise in Kopi-O prices, forcing citizens to achieve Zen-like focus just to avoid tipping over their lukewarm kopi. The MFS insists this is merely “optimisation for the next 50 years of dining excellence.”