Singapore Graduates Now Receive Graduation Bond Instead of Diploma

The Ministry of Higher Education has quietly announced a radical new initiative to ensure maximum financial literacy among its polytechnic graduates: the “Graduation Gold Bond.” Instead of merely repaying their loans, graduates will now be automatically issued a 30-year, zero-interest bond, redeemable only upon their 65th birthday, provided they meet a strict set of criteria. These include owning at least one HDB flat (not exceeding $1.5 million), maintaining a minimum net worth of $5 million, and never having complained publicly about the weather.

A Ministry spokesperson clarified, “This isn’t debt; it’s deferred self-actualisation. Think of it as forced long-term planning.”

The reaction has been mixed. One recent graduate, Amos Tan, lamented, “Aiyah, I thought I finish school already can go make money. Now I got this bond. My father say, ‘Don’t worry lah, at least got something to look forward to when you retire. Like a very slow-maturing lottery ticket, but guaranteed to fail.’” The initiative is expected to boost national savings rates by 300% as Singaporeans desperately attempt to avoid the conditions for redemption.