Singapore Government Introduces SkillsFuture Course On How To Spend SkillsFuture Credits

The Ministry of Education has finally addressed the national crisis of Singaporeans having too much unused potential and not enough useless certificates.

A new $500 credit top-up must be spent exclusively on the "Advanced Breathing for Maximum Productivity" module or citizens face public shaming.

"I take already the 'Sourdough Engineering' and 'Professional Kaypoh-ing' levels 1 to 4, but I still feel like a loser leh," complained 28-year-old overachiever, Tan Bo Chup.

"Next week I sign up for 'Funeral Planning for the Economically Active' so I can upskill even inside the coffin."

Authorities hope this perpetual learning loop will successfully distract the populace from the slow, crushing heat death of the universe.