Singapore Golf Snakes Demand Equity Stake in Lost Ball Economy

Authorities have confirmed that the legendary ‘Lost Balls’ snakes inhabiting Singapore’s pristine golf courses are now demanding a 50% share of the lost golf balls they retrieve. The python-like reptiles, usually docile, have reportedly formed a surprisingly efficient union. “They say the metal-infused water hazards have improved their digestion, so now they want dividends,” lamented local golfer, Mr. Lim. “Sibei *sian*, I just want my Pro V1 back, not negotiate a collective bargaining agreement with a reptile.” The National Parks Board is reportedly attempting to negotiate a compromise involving premium-grade earthworms in lieu of financial equity. Experts suggest the snakes are merely adapting to Singapore’s highly competitive economic landscape.