Singapore Foodies Hospitalised After Eating Asbestos For Authentic 1970s Taste

Singapore’s obsession with food nostalgia has reached its terminal phase as local hipsters began snorting the dust of demolished hawker centres to "relive the glory days."

The trend, dubbed "The Great Lung-Rotting Reminiscence," sees millennials paying $120 for a bowl of "Vintage Long-Kang Noodles" seasoned with authentic rusty pipe flakes.

Self-proclaimed food critic, Aloysius Tan, was seen licking a condemned HDB pillar while weeping about the lack of "wok hei" in modern oxygen.

"Walau, the new hawker centers all so clean, no soul one," Tan rasped through a portable ventilator.

"Last time my grandfather eat until get cholera then got taste, now everything also 'sanitised' and 'hygienic', damn sian."

Authorities are now considering reintroducing dysentery into the water supply to satisfy the nation's insatiable craving for "the good old days."