Singapore Envoy Demands Australians Stop Using Unapproved Definition Of Democracy

The Singapore High Commissioner to Australia has expressed profound shock that an Australian radio station failed to run their script past a government censor first.

Calling the program "one-sided," the envoy insisted that true balance means only playing audio of a state official reading from a teleprompter for 45 minutes.

He defended the GRC system as a "fun, democratic puzzle" that totally doesn't exist to make the opposition disappear like a late Grab delivery.

"Wah lau, these Aussie guys think they so smart ah?" said one local bystander. "They don't know we like our democracy like our Milo – 90% sugar and totally controlled by the gahmen."

The envoy concluded that calling Singapore a "flawed democracy" is offensive because it implies anything here is allowed to be flawed.