Singapore Companies Charged For Allowing Heavy Trucks To Feel Alive

The Singapore government has moved to crush the illegal thrill of "momentum" after charging two companies for failing to neuter their heavy vehicles with speed limiters.

Or Kim Peow Contractors and Linde Gas Singapore were dragged to court for allowing their lorries to experience the forbidden sensation of speed, a direct violation of the national mandate to remain as stagnant as humanly possible.

Authorities warned that a lorry travelling above a brisk crawl is essentially a weapon of mass destruction designed to disrupt the island’s carefully curated aura of crushing boredom.

"Liddat also cannot, everything must go slow slow one," complained one disgruntled worker.

"If the lorry move fast, my heart also go fast, then I very scared leh!"

The companies were fined for providing the public with a terrifying, fleeting glimpse of efficiency.