Singapore Achieves Food Security By Feeding Citizens High-Tech Despair

The Singapore government has finally solved the food security crisis by unveiling a new range of "Atmospheric Nutrient Voids."

Instead of relying on actual soil, Lim Chu Kang’s latest vertical farms are now producing $80 bunches of kale that have been psychologically gaslit into existence.

Authorities confirmed that if 30% of the population starves by 2030, the "30 by 30" goal will technically be reached via mathematical efficiency.

"Siao liao, the egg so expensive I start laying my own eggs already," complained Auntie Bee, clutching a basket of 3D-printed calcium shards.

Minister for Sustainability, Lawrence Huat, stated that licking a QR code provides more vitamin C than an imported Malaysian orange.

"Last time my grandfather eat ubi, now I eat LED light and hope only," said local resident Tan Ah Kow while licking a damp HDB pillar.

Citizens are encouraged to regard their hunger pangs as "patriotic internal vibrations" meant to stimulate the economy.