Singapore 13-Year-Old Thrilled To Experience First Taste Of Corporate Debt

Singaporean youths are finally being taught the most important national value: being a stressed-out corporate slave before reaching puberty.

The ‘My First S$1,000’ programme generously hands 13-year-olds a $250 loan, only to demand $300 back after eight weeks, successfully simulating the predatory joy of high-interest debt.

“Wah lao, I just want to play Roblox but now I must return $300 to these uncles or my life is over,” said 13-year-old entrepreneur Blake while downing his fourth espresso.

“My mother say better learn to hustle now, if not next time no money buy iPhone 18 Pro Max.”

Programme mentors claim the goal is to teach children how to “fail fast,” which is convenient as most will likely be bankrupt before their first wet dream.