SG SkillsFuture Now Covers Professional Blowjob Training For Sinkies

The Singapore government has officially launched the "National Oral Excellence" initiative to combat the nation’s dwindling enthusiasm for recreational labour in the bedroom.

The Ministry of Marital Intimacy announced that SkillsFuture credits are now redeemable for "Advanced Phallic Aerobics" workshops at local community centres.

The move follows a shocking survey revealing that 90% of Singaporean men feel their partners possess the suction power of a dying Dyson vacuum.

"Eh, my girlfriend do until like she peeling potato like that, damn pain leh!" complained 28-year-old IT consultant, Kelvin Lim.

"I tell her use more tongue, she ask me if got CDC vouchers or not, so sian one."

Under the new scheme, citizens who achieve "Professional Deep Throat" certification will receive a $50 FairPrice voucher and a commemorative Merlion-themed gag.

Authorities hope this will finally turn the "Singapore Grip" from a historical myth into a daily demographic reality.