SG Girlfriends Hire Professional ‘Honey-Trappers’ to Verify Sinkie Loyalty

Singaporean women are now outsourcing insecurities to "Loyalty Labs," a boutique agency providing high-end honey-trapping services.

For $500, a surgically-enhanced operative will "accidentally" brush against your boyfriend at Clarke Quay to see if he flinches.

The agency boasts a 98% success rate in ruining relationships by manufacturing drama out of thin air.

Founder Cheryl Tan says the service is essential for the neurotic Singaporean dating scene.

"Wah lau, if he never check out the chio bu I send, means he gay or he lying lor," Cheryl explained.

"I need to know he 100% faithful before I let him touch my hand, otherwise very rugi, right?"

Authorities are considering if state-sponsored stalking should be included in the next National Day Rally.

Local men are now wearing blinkers normally reserved for carriage horses just to survive a trip to Takashimaya.