Satay Uncle’s Lung Cancer Declared UNESCO World Heritage Site

The Singapore government has officially nominated a veteran Satay Uncle’s chronic respiratory failure for UNESCO World Heritage status.

Evaluators were reportedly mesmerised by how forty years of inhaling charcoal soot has petrified his internal organs into delicious, smoky jerky.

The Satay Club’s air quality is now so toxic it has been legally designated as a budget-friendly cremation service for adventurous tourists.

Local foodie, Jeremy, was seen huffing the fumes directly from a grease-caked rattan fan.

“Siao ah, the meat so small like bird droppings, but the smoke is where the real power is, bro,” he gasped through a coughing fit.

Health officials warn that the wooden skewers currently offer more protein and structural integrity than the actual chicken skin attached.

“Aiyoh, you think cheap meh? The wood is seasoned with sweat and grease, very premium taste one,” remarked a veteran vendor.

The peanut sauce remains the leading cause of permanent mouth-roof disappearance nationwide.