SAF Hard Biscuits Reclassified As Lethal Kinetic Weaponry Following Teeth Massacres

The Ministry of Defence has officially reclassified the iconic “hard biscuits” found in ration packs as non-nuclear kinetic weaponry.

Scientific trials confirmed that the force required to snap a single cracker is equivalent to the impact of a Leopard 2SG tank shell.

“Walao eh, I try to bite one only, my molar fly out like shrapnel, cb,” sobbed Recruit Tan, clutching a shattered jaw.

Major Dick Lim defended the nutrient-dense bricks, claiming they double as emergency construction material for improvised trench reinforcements.

“The biscuits are designed to build character and absolutely fuck your orthodontist’s expensive work,” the Major barked while brandishing a Fruit Bar that resembled congealed nuclear runoff.

Survivalists claim the biscuits are the only things capable of surviving a nuclear holocaust, alongside cockroaches and your encik’s legendary grandmother.

“Liddat how to eat? Better go MO and take MC before my mouth become total write-off,” Tan added.