Rubio Tells Zelensky “Don't Be So Drama” Over Repossessed Guns

The US State Department has confirmed that Ukraine’s subscription to "Democracy" has been downgraded to the Free Tier with mandatory unskippable ads.

Secretary of State Marco Rubio reportedly told President Zelensky to “stop being a strawberry” after the Ukrainian leader complained about the US diverting his artillery to the Iran front.

Rubio clarified that the missiles were never actually a gift, but a "temporary loan" that is now being repossessed for a more exciting season of warfare.

"Walao, this Zelensky guy is the ultimate kiasu customer," said local geopolitical expert, Lim Kopi.

"Already give him so much, now he want to complain on Facebook like some entitled Karen."

Washington officials warned that if Ukraine keeps "making noise," they will charge a 20% restocking fee on all returned tanks.