Rubio Excited To Negotiate With Iranians Who Aren’t Exploded Yet

Secretary of State Marco Rubio confirmed the US is finally having "productive" chats with Iran, mostly because the "unreasonable" leaders were successfully turned into fine grey mist.

It’s much easier to find common ground when the person across the table knows that "constructive feedback" usually involves a Hellfire missile delivery to their master bedroom.

Rubio noted the remaining "reasonable" survivors are suddenly very polite, likely due to the "fractures" in their government and the literal cracks in their office ceilings.

Trump added that these new guys are "total legends" who understand that diplomacy works best when you have a target on your back.

Steady pom pi pi, basically talking to a hostage and calling it "hopeful diplomacy."

Basket, even the SPF cannot find any "wrongdoing" in this kind of foreign policy.