Riot Police Finally Get To Use Their Fucking Cool Shields

Singapore’s tactical units finally got to live out their Call of Duty fantasies after a 52-year-old man challenged the structural integrity of several windscreens.

Armed with a statue-like object and a complete lack of a future, the man transformed a Jurong West industrial estate into a one-man demolition derby.

The Singapore Police Force responded with full riot gear, presumably because the man’s ornament looked like a Level 99 legendary weapon.

"Wah lau, I thought got terrorist attack sia, then I see is just one siao lang uncle holding a toy," said one bystander who was just trying to buy lunch.

The man eventually surrendered by squatting near a tree, realizing his decorative trinket was no match for the government's massive budget for polycarbonate protection.

He was arrested for mischief, public nuisance, and being the most exciting thing to happen in Jurong this decade.