Rich Fuck Uses His Own Children As Human Porsche Spoilers

A Bukit Timah father has been charged after trying to solve his Porsche’s lack of downforce by mounting his offspring onto the boot.

The 40-year-old reportedly told police that carbon fiber wings were “waste of money” compared to the ballast of two small humans.

Witnesses were unsure if they were watching a family outing or a budget audition for The Fast and the Furious: CPS Edition.

“I thought was some new rich people ornament, then the ornament start to cry, sia,” said one onlooker.

The Traffic Police clarified that children are legally classified as ‘passengers’ rather than ‘detachable aerodynamic components’.

“COE so expensive, must fully utilize the car exterior also lah!” the man allegedly screamed during his arrest.