Rabies Symptom 'Irritability' Mistaken For Average Singaporean Personality

Medical experts warn that early rabies symptoms are now impossible to diagnose in Singapore because everyone is already a hostile, sensitive prick.

The victim’s "increased irritability" and "sensitivity to sound" were reportedly ignored for weeks as they are the national default settings for anyone living here.

"We thought he was foaming at the mouth because of the McSpicy price hike, not a stray dog," one auntie remarked while aggressively kope-ing a stack of napkins from KFC.

The month-long incubation period has been praised by local HR departments as a "generous handover period" before an employee finally succumbs to the sweet release of death.

Authorities advise that if a dog bites your face, you should seek help immediately, unless you’re just trying to get five days of MC.