NTU Singapore Declares Literacy Optional To Maintain High Global Rankings

Nanyang Technological University has officially abandoned the "oppressive" rules of the English alphabet after unveiling its latest linguistic abortion: ALIVE.

The "gAmes for heaLthInnoVationscEntre" acronym has confirmed suspicions that the university’s branding department is composed entirely of toddlers eating crayons.

A university spokesperson stated that traditional acronyms are "too linear" for a world-class institution.

"Why follow rules when you can just kidnap random letters and hold them hostage?" the official asked while drooling on a Thesaurus.

Local students remain baffled by the university's creative stroke.

"Wah lau, I thought my English teacher fail me for fun last time," one student worker said.

"Now I know I just need to capitalize the 'S' in 'stupid' and call it 'Scholarship' lah!"

Educational experts predict NTU’s next project will be "SUCCESS," an acronym for "Sausages Under Chairs Create Every Single Sandwich."