New Singapore ERP Signs Officially Stand For ‘Empty Your Pockets’

The Land Transport Authority is currently testing giant blue road markings at Bayshore Drive to ensure Singaporeans are psychologically primed for their impending financial lobotomy.

While the "E" officially denotes Electronic Road Pricing, internal sources confirm it actually signifies the high-pitched shriek Sinkies make when their bank accounts are depleted in real-time.

The new satellite technology allows the state to monitor your movement with the predatory precision of a debt collector.

“The road so blue I thought I driving into Sentosa Cove, then I realise LTA just want to drown my wallet,” noted one confused motorist.

Experts suggest the blue paint helps hide the tears of drivers who realise they are now paying for the privilege of sitting in a traffic jam.