New Law Requires Singaporean Women To Register Padded Bras As Fraud

The Singapore Ministry of Truth has mandated that all local women must now declare high-density foam inserts as "undeclared assets."

Undercover officers are currently patrolling Takashimaya to arrest females attempting to pass off an A-minus cup as a C-plus.

The crackdown follows a surge in "catfishing" incidents where push-up bras were found to contain enough sponge to insulate a commercial cold room.

"Eh, I tell you ah, her bra got more padding than my sofa, confirm plus chop is scam one!" said witness and professional bra-fitter, Auntie Siew.

Experts suggest that the average Singaporean bra is currently 85% industrial-grade polyester and 15% wishful thinking.

"Wah lao, last time my boyfriend see, he thought got mountain, then open already, become molehill," complained local victim, Jolene Tan.

Retailers are now legally obliged to include a "Warning: Contents May Be Smaller Than They Appear" tag on all lace underwire.