New Autonomous Buses Programmed To Drive Like Total Cibai.

The Land Transport Authority has finally achieved peak efficiency by launching autonomous buses programmed with the exact level of spite required to ignore commuters.

These high-tech 16-seaters utilize advanced sensors to detect a passenger’s desperate sprinting before calculating the precise millisecond to shut the doors and accelerate away.

To maintain authenticity, a "Customer Service Officer" will be stationed on board to stare blankly at your middle finger through the tinted glass.

"The AI logic is fucking steady lah," noted local commuter Beng Huat. "Even without a human driver, the bus still managed to cut me off then jam brake for no fucking reason, I feel so at home."

LTA confirms the next phase involves training the AI to specifically target and splash puddles onto pedestrians during monsoon season.