Netanyahu: Killing Thousands Is Just a Solid Mid-Term KPI

JERUSALEM — Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu confirmed today that the current apocalypse is “definitely beyond the halfway point,” proving that even the end of the world needs a fucking progress bar.

Netanyahu explained that while the timer is still ticking, he has already hit his KPIs for "thousands of deaths" and "wiping out entire industrial plants."

"It’s about missions, not time," he said, sounding like a toxic SME boss justifying why you’re still in the office at 11 PM on a Friday.

Singaporeans are mostly wondering if this 50% milestone means petrol prices will finally stop being a total cb.

Meanwhile, the government reminded citizens that facial scanning via Singpass is now mandatory just to watch the world end in HD.