Neighbours Only Give A Fuck When You Start Smelling

Singapore continues its streak of ruthless efficiency as two residents successfully completed their lifelong goal of dying completely alone on the same day.

The deceased, located in Kim Keat and Sengkang, reportedly spent years being ignored by neighbours before finally finding a way to get some attention via advanced decomposition.

Authorities confirmed that while no one bothered to check on the pair for years, the entire block suddenly became community leaders once the stench of rot reached the lift lobby.

"Walao, I thought the smell was just the downstairs neighbour’s fermented shrimp paste," remarked one resident while filming the body bag for his TikTok.

"Then I realise the uncle haven’t come out for weeks, must be rot already lor, damn smelly and suay."

The government has praised these simultaneous exits, noting that clearing the lonely in batches is much more cost-effective.