Neighbors To Fix Middle East Before Even Fixing Causeway Traffic

Malaysian PM Anwar Ibrahim and Indonesian President Prabowo Subianto have officially pivoted from managing their own sinking currencies to solving the entire Middle East crisis through the power of friendship.

The duo met in Jakarta to exchange "principled regional cohesion," which is high-level diplomatic code for "please don't let global oil prices fuck us over even harder."

While Anwar successfully sweet-talked Iran into letting Malaysian ships pass, Prabowo’s tankers remain as stuck as a food delivery rider in a Jurong monsoon.

"Wah lau, world-class main character syndrome," said local office worker, Jervis Lim.

"They cannot even settle the Causeway jam in under four hours, but now want to settle world war? Don't so 'geh kiang' lah, just fix the exchange rate first."