NEA Triggered Because Rats Don’t Give A Flying Fuck

The National Environment Agency (NEA) has finally encountered a demographic that isn’t terrified of their fines: a massive army of rats that refuses to acknowledge the law.

Despite 1,300 enforcement actions against premises owners, the rodents continue to treat Singapore like a free-for-all buffet, leaving NEA officers feeling emotionally neglected.

"KNS, I try to issue summons but the mouse just look at me and squeak," one officer lamented.

"No NRIC, no bank account, how to fine? These bastards really think Singapore is their grandfather's road."

With rat populations rebounding faster than a fresh grad’s ego, the government is reportedly "pissed off" that high-tech thermal cameras are only capturing footage of rodents living more exciting lives than the average Singaporean.

NEA is now considering whether to issue miniature CWO vests or simply wait for the rats to apply for PR status.