NASA Sends Humans To Moon; SMRT Still Cannot Reach Tuas

NASA successfully launched Artemis II this morning, proving humans can travel 384,400km through a vacuum faster than a GrabCar can reach Jurong during a slight drizzle.

While four lucky astronauts are hurtling towards the lunar surface at 39,000km/h, the average Singaporean remains trapped in a soul-crushing 90-minute jam on the CTE.

Local observers noted that the moon offers significantly more personal space and fewer pushy insurance agents than the crowded walkways of Raffles Place.

"They go moon and back in ten days, but my MRT ride still feels like a fucking eternity," remarked one sweaty commuter.

At least in the silent void of space, no one can hear your SME boss WhatsApping you about a 'quick sync' on a Sunday night.