MOM To Deploy “Asshole Inspectors” To Monitor Toilet Duration

The Ministry of Manpower has announced a nationwide “Quick Sh*t” initiative to prevent citizens from blowing out their rectums on company time.

Under the new guidelines, any employee caught sitting on the throne for over ten minutes will be forcibly evicted by a dedicated task force.

Companies have begun installing weight-sensitive sensors on toilet seats that automatically trigger a high-pressure bidet jet after exactly 600 seconds.

“Walau, cannot even finish one Mobile Legends match then the water shoot my backside already,” complained 28-year-old local clerk, Kevin Tan.

Health experts warn that the national obsession with “getting your money’s worth” of air-con is literally turning the population’s colons inside out.

One SME boss praised the move, noting that productivity has surged now that his staff’s assholes aren’t falling out.