MOE Replaces ‘Streaming’ With Artisanal Bespoke Academic Segregation

The Ministry of Education has finally abolished streaming to ensure no child feels like a second-class citizen while being groomed for a second-class life.

By replacing rigid labels with "Full Subject-Based Banding," officials have successfully rebranded the "dumb" class as the "Alternative Cognitive Strategy" suite.

Education experts claim that removing the "Normal Technical" tag will miraculously stop competitive parents from viewing their offspring as depreciating assets.

"Wah, now no more Express or Normal, my boy feel so high-SES already," said local parent Mrs. Lim.

"Last time people say he 'low-tier', now he just 'Subject-Banding Specialist', sound like he working in bank already lor!"

Despite the reforms, the government confirmed that the soul-crushing pressure to outperform your neighbours remains a mandatory core module.

The transition ensures that while the labels are gone, the existential dread of being average is preserved for future generations.