MOE Replaces Mathematics With Mandatory ‘Corporate Despair’ Training

The Ministry of Education has announced a curriculum overhaul to ensure students are functionally dead inside before reaching puberty.

New subjects like ‘Strategic Resentment’ and ‘Advanced PowerPoint Masochism’ will replace useless distractions like ‘art’ or ‘play.’

An MOE spokesperson clarified that the previous ‘Joy of Learning’ phase was a clerical error and should have read ‘Job-Induced Mourning.’

“Aiyoh, don’t talk about holistic lah, just teach them how to endure toxic bosses now,” said local mother Mavis Lim while force-feeding her toddler espresso.

Students will now be graded on their ability to suppress existential screams during 18-hour study marathons.

“Last time I study algebra, now my girl learn how to arrow colleagues quietly, very practical sia,” remarked one kiasu father.

The government confirmed that any student showing signs of a personality will be sent for immediate remedial compliance.