MINDEF To Classify ‘Early Book-In’ As Severe Psychotic Mental Health Disorder

The Ministry of Defence has officially designated "early book-in" as a top-tier psychiatric emergency.

Military police were forced to restrain Recruit Tan, who arrived at the Tekong ferry terminal at 1400 hours on a Sunday afternoon.

"This guy is a fucking siao lang," noted Sergeant Major Lim, while adjusting his massive tactical gut.

"I see him at the gate and I think, 'Wah lau eh, your home got no aircon or your mother beat you is it?'"

Standard operating procedure dictates that any soldier not squeezing every last second of civilian life out of their weekend is a threat to the state.

The SAF confirmed that wanting to eat cookhouse food before 2100 hours is a clear sign of sociopathy.

"Lanjiao, even the encik don't want to be here," muttered a witness.

Tan remains in isolation, as doctors investigate why anyone would choose SAF foot powder over their girlfriend’s touch.