MINDEF Rebrands ‘Knock It Down’ As Extreme Yoga For Limp-Dick Recruits

The Ministry of Defence has officially classified mass punishment push-ups as a revolutionary form of "High-Intensity Interval Suffering."

This follows reports that a Section Commander’s vocal cords shattered after screaming "Knock It Down" for the 400th time before breakfast.

The SAF’s new health directive suggests that the smell of hot bitumen and the sweat of forty unwashed recruits is actually "therapeutic aromatherapy."

"Eh, fucker, you think this one spa is it?" shouted Corporal First Class Tan, while a recruit’s trembling arms resembled a vibrating dildo.

"Touch the floor lah, your grandfather’s chest very high is it?"

Despite the agony, MINDEF insists that the tectonic plates under Pulau Tekong have shifted eight centimetres due to the collective weight of thousands of "bent-arm" reps.

"Walao, my triceps gone already, now I look like Popeye but without the fucking spinach," complained Recruit Lim.

The SAF remains confident that if Singapore is ever invaded, the enemy will simply be ordered to knock it down until they surrender or die of heatstroke.