MINDEF Orders Recruits To Simulate Gory Deaths To Traumatise Morning Commuters

The Ministry of Defence has intensified MRT civil defence drills by ordering recruits to simulate "maximum psychological trauma" during imaginary air raids.

Clad in full battle order, recruits must now scream in agony at bewildered aunties while pretending their limbs were vapourised by non-existent missiles.

"Wah lau, encik say must wayang properly, so I just roll on floor and cry like fuck," said Recruit Tan, who was seen dry-humping a ticket machine.

Commuters are encouraged to ignore the 'casualties' to better simulate the cold, soulless apathy required for national survival.

"Eh, you think war is joke ah? Go down, go down! Don't look at me, look at the ghost bomb, you blur cock!" screamed a deranged Sergeant Major.

Brigadier General Lim noted that nothing builds resilience like watching a nineteen-year-old weep about his "bloody stump" next to a BreadTalk.