Mindef Finally Enlists Singaporean Who Considers US Prison A Vacation

The Singapore Ministry of Defence has finally intercepted its most elusive draft-dodger, proving that National Service is the only life sentence from which there is no parole.

Amos Yee was greeted at Changi Airport this week, trading his status as a US sex offender for the far more prestigious title of "Chao Recruit."

While Yee spent years blogging about toppling the Singapore government, he will now learn that the only thing he can successfully overthrow is a field pack.

"Walao, this fellow really siao one," remarked a janitor.

"In America he play with kids, but here he going to play with the Sergeant Major’s temper. Let’s see him try to topple gahmen while doing push-ups in the mud."