Miley Cyrus Honoured To Keep Milking Your Fucking Childhood Nostalgia

Miley Cyrus has willed a Hannah Montana 20th-anniversary special into existence, proving that even international pop stars can’t escape the crushing weight of their own past irrelevance.

The 33-year-old singer claimed the special is a “gift to the fans,” though critics argue it’s actually a desperate plea for attention before she officially enters her “Auntie at the wet market” phase.

“Wahlau, she still want to wear that blonde wig ah?” asked local club-goer Jasmine Teo, 31.

“Last time she lick hammer like siao lang, now want to be pure again? Simisai, I cannot take it!” she added while scrolling through Miley's old Instagram posts.

Disney executives are reportedly thrilled, noting that nostalgia is the only thing Singaporeans spend money on besides overpriced bubble tea and deep-seated resentment.