Middle East Conflict Successfully Increases Local Man’s Sweating By 11%

The Singapore government has confirmed that the best way to show solidarity with victims of the Middle East conflict is to suffer from heatstroke in a four-room flat.

As electricity prices surge by 11 per cent, local retailers explained that charging citizens more is the only way to ensure that missiles several thousand kilometres away remain adequately funded.

Minister for Trade and Industry, Tan See Leng, suggested that citizens should simply stop being so "hot" and perhaps try photosynthesising to save on monthly bills.

"Wah lau, I thought the war was there, why my utility bill kena bombed also?" asked 45-year-old Grab driver, Teck Ko.

"Now every time I switch on the air-con, I feel like I personally sponsoring one drone strike."