Mandai Wildlife Reserve Charges $55 For Guided Tour Of Darkness

The Mandai Wildlife Reserve has finally achieved peak efficiency by charging citizens $55 to sit in a humid tram and stare at a series of expensive bushes.

Marketed as a "nocturnal adventure," the Night Safari is actually a sophisticated psychological experiment to see how long Singaporeans will squint at a dark rock before hallucinating a leopard.

Park officials maintain that the complete absence of visible fauna is an "immersive artistic commentary" on the void of human existence.

"Wah lau, I pay so much money just to see a sign that says 'Hyena' but actually is just one very dark long-kang," complained visitor Lim Kopi.

"The only thing 'wild' about the night was the mosquito bit my backside until like one map of Jurong Island," he added.

Scientists confirm the true thrill comes from the 98% chance that you are actually just observing a sleeping security guard through the thick undergrowth.