Man Successfully Avoids Future Qing Ming By Dying On Spot

KULIM — A 57-year-old Malaysian man has been hailed as a local hero for successfully utilizing the ultimate “Get Out Of Jail Free” card to avoid future family obligations.

After sweeping his ancestor’s tomb, Ye Jincai reportedly declared he was “so fucking tired” before promptly collapsing and upgrading his status to permanent resident of the cemetery.

By dying on-site, Ye has effectively bypassed decades of future humidity, mosquito bites, and the soul-crushing labor of scrubbing bird shit off granite.

“This is peak efficiency,” noted one onlooker.

“He even cleaned the place before moving in; most tenants are never this fucking considerate.”

Family members are expected to be mildly annoyed that they now have twice as much sweeping to do next year.