Man Speedruns Type 2 Diabetes With Century-Old Rose Syrup

Health experts are baffled as a beverage consisting of 88 per cent liquid sugar continues to be marketed as a "refreshing cooler" rather than a delicious way to meet your maker.

The syrup, touted for "uplifting the soul," achieves this by launching the consumer's blood glucose levels into a different dimension.

"Wah lau eh, I drink one time my heart start to beat like fucking techno music," said local resident Tan Ah Huat.

Critics suggest the "herbal" label is actually just concentrated essence of 'Goodbye Pancreas' mixed with red dye.

Doctors confirm that while the drink "beats the heat," it also beats the living shit out of your internal organs.